Changes

My time here is certainly, unequivocally changing me. At the same time, things around me are changing. As my roommates and I settle in and get to know each other better, we are new people. Different idiosyncrasies, challenges, and treasures are discovered as we continue to grow together. I am uncovering the bits of myself, covered in damp earth, that I have long ignored but long to mend so that, thrown together, I can make one loving, whole person. My strong and wildly passionate boss lost her mother early Monday morning. Her world is changing and moving, becoming simultaneously more difficult and less painful in a strange, paradoxical dance. My heart has been with her for the past week. Relationships at home and with old friends are forming into new creations as I am away and don't stay in the same kind of contact. One of the girls at work has changed her mind about me. If you've been following this blog, you may have heard from her, the one who said a myriad of kind things such as "The new Bonnie's [Bonnie being the volunteer in the position before me] ugly" or the famous quote up on the quote wall in our house "The new Bonnie's boring." Now she loves me. She draws me pictures, she makes me tin foil flowers, and talks about how much she likes me. I'm not trusting this too much because I'm sure she'll change her mind any day now and then change her mind back. She's a 5th grader after all. I find parts of myself softening deeply. I care so deeply for the people I serve. They are wiggling their way into my heart, one by one. Even when they yell, complain, get frustrated, and are sassy and obnoxious (this title specially reserved for a scrappy squad of 4-5th grade girls) they somehow change me every day. I wish I had a stronger word than humbling.

Missing and loving all from afar. Be well.